It Makes Me A Little Sad....

You might have heard of Kira Plastinina, the 16-year-old daughter of a Russian orange juice mogul (I'm not making this up) who has started her own eponymous chain store. Most everything I've heard of her so far has been applauding the fact that's so young and has her own store—the entrepreneurial spirit she must have! The ambition it must take to design a full line clothing at such a young age! And to decide to make it affordably priced so those unfortunates who aren't billionaires can have the clothes too! So I thought it would be a good idea to take a look at some of the clothes on her site. To say I was disappointed was an understatement, and my hopes hadn't even been set that high by what I'd already seen. Though, what did I expect from a girl my age who likes Hilary Duff and claims Paris Hilton as a role model. I can't imagine a single teen with half a bud of taste wearing any of this stuff and as I have learned from fashion blogging, some teenagers are actually quite stylish and would be able to design things 1000000x better. Here's a sampling of what Kira has to offer.

This monstrosity is for "when you can’t decide on a print tee, a swooping v-neck, or a hoodie—this top saves you from the pressure of early morning decision-making". It also saves you from the pressure of trying to look cheap—there's no effort involved here!

Shall I even began to enumerate the things wrong with this? To avoid stating the obvious, pockets in that area never work. Even the model is disgusted.

It doesn't work. It's like a balloon and an oversized softball shirt mated and had a baby which decided to call itself a dress. I won't even get into the random hood....

Ah, yes! This was just what was missing from my wardrobe! It brings "serious style to the all too regular hoodie". Yes. Wet Seal called. They want their archive piece from 2003 back.

Let's get things straight. I like this. I want this. But this thing... tramples the boundaries of taste and not in a good, innovative way.

These do not ever flatter the model. Enough said.

The really sad thing is that I would actually wear these if they weren't in a cheap-looking shiny fabric. That totally ruins them.

This is the "Punk Rock Princess" skirt. I'm not even going to get into that oxymoron, but again the only thing I can say is cheap.

Beating the dead horse, but these are odd and ugly and not in a good way like dropped crotch pants. I can't picture anyone wearing them unironically.


I'm not trying to be mean, and, if by some crazy chance Kira reads this, I'm not insulting you. I'm simply more than annoyed that just because your father is incredibly wealthy you get to make your own tacky store with what are in my own opinion extremely ugly clothes. Write me off as just being jealous that I can't have my own stores, okay? You have had all of this handed to you on a dainty little platter as you sit on your velour princess chair. Or private jet. There are so many more talented unknown designers who could use the money being wasted in opening 32 American stores. I'm putting all my faith in the American people that no one will buy this.