Thursday, December 13, 2007

I'm Not Pregnant, So Why Are You Selling Me Maternity Tops?

Lately, on my trips into A&F and Hollister, I have been noticing something incredible annoying that has prevented me from wasting my money on countless occasions: empire-waist knits. Now, these are a godsend to the, um, curvier of the Abercrombie clones (no more über-skintight shirts!), but skinny girls and empire waists do not mix. Basically, they make you look fat. Or pregnant. I call them the gain-ten-pounds-instantly shirts. And let's not forget the worst offenders, the empire cableknit sweaters. Empire sweaters in thicker materials are so unflattering on so many levels I can't even begin to talk about. So I want to see less of this ("empire waist"):

and more of this ("classic fit"):

So I can go back to wasting my money on things from these stores that I'll never wear anyway because I'll feel like a blahhhh.

(I seriously have been fantasizing about the bottom shirt since I saw it on this thin, thin girl in 7th grade. Long sleeve shirts look soo much better on my flabby (muscular) arms. I might have to buy it, despite its $35-ness, and Abercrombie-ness, as I am trying to ban all things Abercrombie as their prevalence tends to make me puke. But I digress.)

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